SOUL FRAGMENTATION

In February 1996, I went to Seattle to a Kryon Channeling. During the question and answer period, a highly distraught lady walked up to the microphone and said, "My name is Sebrina. I've just been released from the hospital with a diagnosis as a multiple personality; I'd like to get my boys back. In the next moment both Jan and Lee Carroll said, "See Norma immediately!"

I stood, so she could find me, never guessing what I was going to encounter. We discovered we were both from Southern California. I gave Sebrina my card and agreed to meet with her at my home.

When Sebrina walked in she seemed a little anxious, but not unusually so. Many people who are upset come to work with me. Within the first few moments a process of shifting began that was to define our work for the next seven years.

"Hi, I'm Lucy Belle. Is my mom here?"

"No, my name is Norma and I'm happy to meet you."

"If my mom isn't here, then I can't talk to you." With that she promptly vanished.

"Hello, my name is Charlotte. Just what are your credentials? Have you worked with multiples before? They say I'm a multiple, but of course I know they're wrong."

"Hello, my name is Rhonda. Can you help me get my boys back?"

As rapidly as one would come through to speak to me, another one would follow. They had different facial expressions, mannerisms, and physical postures. Everyone was eager to speak to me, yet never seemed to be aware of the one who had just left. These rapid-fire half conversations would continue the entire session.

Finally Daniel came through her, an older man, who said he would always be available to help me. His poise and calm words were startling after all of the anxiousness of the others.

When Sebrina returned she smiled and said, "Will you work with us, will you help us?" I told her honestly that I had never worked with a multiple personality. I had seen movies about them, but have never read medical books and knew nothing of the work usually done. She said she presently worked with the top psychiatrist in Los Angeles, but he didn't work with the psychic realm. She knew that it was the realm we would have to work with for her integration. She was clear that she wouldn't accept anything less than full integration.

I said, "I work with compassionate energy that seems to know how to do many things beyond any place that the human part of me knows about. I call it the Spirit or psychic realm. I have been working in that medium for many years. I truly believe there is no illness that Spirit can't assist the person in healing."

In the next moment Garret came home from work. Since it was common for new clients to meet in the living room, we had remained there. Garret walked in and smiled calmly, as he usually did when he saw me with a client. But in the next moment he was stunned, as Sebrina ran to him and said, "Hi, I'm Robbie."

"I'm a boy and I like me. My Daddy says only men and boys have value. I'm 4 years old; I protect the girls, and am very tough. I stand up to pee, too.

Garret smiled and said, "Hello."

We arranged to get together in two weeks. This began our sessions. They were regularly sprinkled with different people from inside. Many said they watched me for a few weeks before they would decide to talk to me. They wanted to find out if I were "real."

I began doing energy work on Sebrina's physical body, on the massage table. As the work progressed, we even worked with stress releasing breathing. Sebrina was a constant source of hyperventilation. I learned that people who are sexually molested usually can't breathe deeply into their bellies. Trust is lost in their traumatic experience, and great patience is required to rebuild it.

Over time Sebrina shared parts of her story. She was born into a satanic cult and her father was the leader. He and her mother were very eager to train her to take over the leadership, so they began training her the day she arrived home from the hospital. The intensity of this determination to control her caused a division so deep that her Soul had to split to keep her alive.

I've come to realize most people have been trained and manipulated to become the child the parent wants them to be. Shattering comes in so many subtle ways, and fragmentation happens often by parents who think they're coming from love. I'm clear now that child abuse comes from teaching children to live by rules, rather than discovering who and what they are meant to be. Often people are never encouraged to bloom. Child abuse causes real fragmentation and shattering. These beliefs come from over 20 years of working with all forms of abuse.

After six months Sebrina explained that I was truly the person to help her and it was important for her to begin the next phase of her work. She would go into her heart space in order to blend into the true person she was to become. I didn't know at this time that it was the beginning of pure integration. She explained that someone created from the psychic and physical realm would take her place. She then went inside to blend and start the foundation for healing.

I was told that Serena would be the new person for me to work with. Two years later she stopped seeing the psychiatrist and stopped all medications. We both were very clear that the time had come for her next steps in healing. With full leadership from her Spirit self we went forward. Serena could tell that the medicines formed barriers that kept her stuck; she wanted to become her own self. At first our work was every other week. Then it moved to every week and now we work together every day. It takes constant focus to rebuild a shattered soul.

We've spent these last seven years integrating fragments of inner people that were created from birth, to cope with her family, her life, and the cult. Serena writes the following, recently, as she fully experienced her true birth as this new special human. She is becoming less and less the child who was originally born into this body.

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BORN

I open my eyes and see Mom's face. I am unaware I have just been born into the system. I have all the knowledge I need to live as one of the people from the victim group. There is no outward glitch. I smile, knowing I like this lady. I know we have been doing work on the table in her healing room. She is not Mom to me, yet. That comes much later. She is Norma. A lady who "I" found to help me heal and integrate. I know all of this, and more, the moment I open my eyes.

I see the whole experience of when I was born, from my heart's truth. Sebrina has told Mom it is time for her to go home to the heart. Enough inside people have come forward and said yes to real healing. There is a level of trust established with Norma to facilitate this.

Sebrina is lying on her back on the massage table. She looks into Norma's face. The love that is exchanged in that look is profound. It speaks of many-shared life times; of an understood courage that it will take, on both their parts, to carry this contract out. Much is said without words. Sebrina touches Norma's face and then closes her eyes, letting go.

What happens next is in the realm of psychic experience. I see Sebrina go within, entering a sacred room within the heart. She kneels down and opens the latch on a beautifully carved wooden box. It is lined in red satin. Nestled within, is the glowing golden energy, safe and waiting. It is me! Then I hear my heart explain that before the original birth, it was known I would be a multiple personality. That the original essence of the baby would be split in order to preserve the true self. In that way, the contract could be carried out with the intent to choose, in this lifetime, to return fully to the Light. There were many risks involved and no guarantees that I would not die. But, it is agreed, I must try.

Coming to this actual place in my life is nothing short of miraculous. The true essence of self has been preserved and re-birthed, pure and bright! I am Serena.

Smiling, I look into Norma's eyes. Gently, she encourages me to breathe. Her voice is soft. The cadence is melodic. She is totally aware of the energy shift in the body. She sees me, the new person, born from the heart. Her job is to be still and not startle me. She speaks only of the breath. She keeps the truth of this moment to herself. I am very fragile, like a little chickadee that must be collected and held underneath my mother's warm feathers. She tells me to lie still. Her breath, her beingness fills the room. Gently, she helps me to sit up. "Stop and breathe" she cautions, "before you get off the table."

Going downstairs, she firmly holds my elbow. Entering the kitchen, she directs me to sit in a straight back chair. Her voice drones on in soothing rhythm. I am detached from everything. The movement of coming downstairs has forced me to leave my body even more. I see things from a distance. I notice a brightly colored fruit on the counter. I am aware of the cold floor through my stocking feet. I hear Norma's questions about what I might choose for lunch. And somewhere, in the background, I hear the hum of internal voices carrying on in conversation. The moment is surreal. Captured like a colored snapshot. Held in time, surrounded in black. This is how "we" have always lived. Moments stopped and contained, distorted in time. Each moment separate from the next. This keeps the system working of course. I do not know that then. That is why I have been born into this system. To begin to discover a new way to live. Deep within my body, in full ownership; aware, joyous and safe with me.

Seeing my birth so clearly shows me what a miracle I am. I know Mom wanted me. I feel cherished. I literally have been the frosting in the Oreo cookie. Mom on the outside, heart on the inside, and both holding me tight, until I could heal. This awareness of my evolution shows me how far I've journeyed. I am truly blessed!

BOY IN COMA

"I must see you today," the agitated woman said. "My 18-year-old grandson has been shot. "Standing at my door was a tiny lady I had laughingly dubbed the "egg lady." A month before she had phoned and asked, "Are you the healer recommended by Kryon?" When I answered, "Yes, I am the person listed in their publication," she said she wanted to meet me. I made an appointment to meet with her. When she arrived, she had with her a dozen brown eggs from her prized chickens. By her words and actions I knew clearly that her words and actions were honoring me with a sharing of one of her treasures. Only later did I discover what a profound reverence for life she had.

Today, she had showed up at my door unannounced. I ushered her in. As she entered, she quickly explained, "Doug, my grandson, opened his door to intruders who intended to rob him. They shot him point blank in the skull and left him for dead. He managed to call 911 before he collapsed. Now he is at an emergency center in San Francisco and is going into surgery. We need your help right away. We need far more help than doctors alone can provide."

Immediately, I was washed with a flood of the energy that I lovingly call Spirit. It literally knocked me off my feet and onto my knees. I needed to sit and go into meditation. I breathed myself into my sacred space, which some might call their meditative space, and discovered that I could feel the actual energy of the operating room where Doug's surgery was then taking place. Not only could I feel the tension of the room, I could sense the heaviness of the surgeons' and nurses' responsibility. Although his grandmother and I were in San Diego and Doug was in San Francisco, I easily connected with him by means of his grandmother's love and willingness to connect.

The feeling of heaviness told me that the surgery was not going well. The heaviness was because no one present in the operating room believed or knew that Doug could live. He had not made a decision to die. It was essential that he remember he had the power to choose every step of the way. This was how I could help him best.

Suddenly Spirit flooded through me into the operating room where Doug lay unconscious. I could feel the energy in the room surge and swell with hope and life. It was as though the entire room became illuminated and uplifted. The Doctors seemed to breathe deeper and the nurses moved with expectation. The surgeons successfully removed the bullet from Dou's head. They then induced a coma-like sleep to minimize swelling in his skull.

When I realized Doug was in a coma, I knew that he would be lost in darkness and would need to see the light of this worldly reality to find his way back. I knew it was now time to give grandmother her assignment. This was difficult for me because my instructions did not seem, even to me, to serve any logical purpose. But knowing full well how Spirit understands all, I trusted it once more. I told her to go home and burn three candles for the next two days and keep three candles burning at all times. She was also to tell her son, Doug's father, that he must not give in to his own sadness and fear. Instead, he needed to be happy, even joking, getting everyone around him to laugh. There had to be such an abundance of happy energy around Doug that the young man could find the light of his earthly family and come back to his life.

Two or three day's later grandmother came to see again. This time she said, "I want you to fly to San Francisco with me to see my grandson." I agreed to make the trip. A couple of days later we were on our way. The short flight was uneventful until, suddenly, while we were still in the air, I began choking and gagging. Grandmother looked at me as if I was crazy, but was aware I had been working with Doug and his energy while in flight. Working energetically with the young man, I started to feel strangled. I sensed strongly that Doug was in serious trouble. As we continued working with him, he began to stabilize and my own sense of strangulation disappeared as quickly as it had begun.

We rushed to the hospital. I did not realize until we arrived, Doug was in the Stanford University Hospital. I had always placed that particular hospital and university in extremely high esteem. Suddenly, I was very nervous and off balance. What was I doing there? It was one thing to allow people to call me a healer in my own home. It was another thing entirely to function as a healer amongst the physicians and staff of such a prestigious hospital. It was extremely humbling for me to allow myself to be there at all. I had to work with my breathing pattern to push aside my ego's comments. Once again it became clear, Spirit and I were to concentrate on being myself and doing what I had come to do.

Doug was lying in his hospital bed, attached to every possible machine. We discovered that the doctors had earlier removed a tube from Doug's throat at the very same time I had felt strangled. Apparently, the procedure had been very painful, and they had to die Doug's wrists to the sides of the bed to keep him from thrashing. This explained why my own throat was in such pain during the flight. Grandmother also now understood my unusual choking behavior. She smiled and squeezed my hand. Little did we know that his tied wrists would literally save my life.

Grandmother had everyone else leave the room. I was alone with this young man, who was attached to more gadgetry and machines than I had ever seen in my life. It looked like an ER set. The doctors had thinned his blood and given him medication to cause him to go into a coma so that his brain would not swell after the surgery. They had gone in from the front of his skull to retrieve the bullet and bone fragments. The bullet had been lodged in the back of his skull. Then they put the skull back together and sewed up his scalp. He was now in a deep coma. Looking at all of this I felt a tremendous rush of love and gratitude for all that these wonderful medical people had done for him.

I began to blend my energy with Doug's by matching his breathing pattern. Soon, a strong sense of how he was feeling in the dark, sleeping space opened for me. As I began to match my energy with his, I also began to match our breathing more solidly, until he and I became one blend. At first, I did not know whether he was aware of this. It was important for me to join Doug energetically where he was. I had to go where the darkness of his peaceful coma began or ended. By my willingness to find him in the coma space, I could connect with him through the energy of my Spirit connected breath. Breathing with him, I could become a light that illuminated his darkness, because I was there as by conscious choice. As I matched his breath and breathed with him, Doug began to relax and shift into a more comfortable state. As he watched my light, I began to take over and lead the breathing. Spirit and I began to lead him out of his coma and back to his waking reality. Luckily for me, my profound trust of Spirit is so clear I had no need to know what would happen next.

Just then, the doctor walked into the room. H e wanted to know who I was. I said, "I am a friend of the grandmother's and I have been asked by the family to come here. I just move energy. Is it all right for me to be here? I'm just breathing with him."

The doctor said, "I guess so, it can't hurt anything." And he left.

A great deal of our time together was spent just breathing and breathing. Soon everything became brighter and brighter. I sensed he had begun to follow the light. This permitted me to lead him out of the darkness. However, when he followed me out of the darkness, and opened his eyes, his conscious mind was still in that very moment when he had been shot. Consequently, he was in a rage. He lunged forward, trying to attack me. He wanted to get the guy who was shooting at him, but I was the only person in the room with him. I was so absorbed in the energy between us that it did not occur to me to be afraid.

Fortunately, Doug was still tied down from when they had pulled the tube out of his throat. A terrified eighteen- year -old young man fighting for his life can be quite fierce and threatening. Doug continued lunging at the intruder. I spoke to him in a soothing voice, strengthening and stabilizing my voice as I spoke. I became very solid and strong, assuring him his assailant was gone, he was now safe, and he was right here alone with me. I could feel him coming closer and closer, emerging out of the coma, looking right into my eyes, connecting, and being in the present moment.

I felt and heard Doug's breath begin to stabilize. I watched all of the dials; gauges and numbers on the various machines begin to change. After a while, when Doug seemed to have stabilized even further and the numbers stopped changing, I welcomed him back and told him his family would be happy to see him. I said, "You have been on a long journey, coming out of your coma and back to this reality. Now, I would like you to go into a place you know as normal resting sleep. This is different from your coma. I need you to rest and I need you to restabilize now." I began shifting our breath into a pattern, which would induce sleep.

As he was breathing with me, and started to drift off, he suddenly became terrified that he was going to go into the darkness of a coma again. I reassured him, "We are not going into a coma, that is a different darkness, just stay with me." Through focus and my staying with him energetically matching his breath, he began softly breathing in a natural sleep pattern. I assured him that his grandmother, his dad and I would be back to see him in a little while, but for now he was to take a nap.

Once Doug was sleeping peacefully, I went to find his family. They were very anxious and needed some reassurance. "You know," I said, "I think it would be good for us to get some lunch." So his dad, friends, grandmother, and I all left. They were thrilled that he was out of the coma and were finally able to relax a little and eat. They even lapsed into a friendly chatter. Once again their love and light could sparkle. I knew this was exactly what was needed for them as well as for Doug at this time. Healing on so many levels was taking place.

When we returned from lunch, Doug was not in his room. He had stabilized to the point that he had been moved to a room for patients requiring less intensive care. We happily rushed to his new room. His grandmother said, "Hi, Doug. I am here to see you."

Doug opened his eyes. He seemed to be focusing clearly. He looked at his grandmother and said, "Hi grandma!" It was a magnificent gift. Soon he was talking with everyone, announcing he was feeling pretty good. We assured him it was important for him to stay in the hospital and keep getting stronger. With that we knew it was safe to leave.

The next day, when the doctor came to see him, Doug said "I'm feeling so much better, I'd like to get up now." He got out of bed, stood before the doctor and said, I really feel good. How soon can I go home?" He was released a few days later. From the time he entered surgery until he was released it all took about a week.

When Doug was discharged, the doctor told his grandmother, "I had no hope for him. There was nothing I could do for him. I have no explanation except you are seeing a miracle."

Doug is now enrolled at a university and plans to finish his studies, which were interrupted by the intruder with the gun.

This is how Spirit and I work. I walk people through traumas or away from old traumas that they have clung to. I stay with them until they come into this reality again. I help them to open up that space of themselves that has been wounded. Much like Doug, some only come to me for a moment in time, so I can walk with them out of the darkness, stand them upright, and get them going. Then they go on living their own lives unassisted. Some cases have required multiple meetings. Each individual is created so magnificently, their integration is unique. I am only a way shower or bridge builder back to this time and space for a client. Together, Spirit, and I do far more than if I begin to believe I do anything alone. Only the magnificence of Spirit can heal.